i am no match for satan, but satan is no match for Jesus. our God reigns!

every testimony i hear, including the ones at our africa meeting tonight, is evidence of another defeat of satan by our great God. and i rejoice in that so much.

i don't know how i could possibly sum up the past semester. and i'm not going to try. there aren't words to describe the transition of the past 9 months, and just the sheer brokenness i've felt in so many areas of my life.

as i was driving home tonight and listening to "Jesus paid it all" on the new passion cd, i had it cranked so loud and i felt like the rising beating of the drums right before my favorite part ("o praise the One who paid my debt/and raised this life up from the dead") was matched by the pounding and racing of my heart. it just parallelled these past months so perfectly...the cry of my heart has welled up within me to the point where i can't contain it anymore...and FINALLY i feel like i have released so much tension and once again i'm actually giving God the place in my life He deserves. i know i still have a long road to travel...a Christian's life is not adhering to some "10 easy steps to being a Christian" plan...it is a continuous, lifelong journey of hopes, dreams, fears, desires, brokenness, blessings, hunger, longing, hurts, and joy. more than any of that, it is to be a life of praise to our Savior! the "mountaintop experiences" of being a Christian are great...i can think of several significant experiences i've had that have forever impacted my walk with God...but we can't stay on the mountain forever, we have to come back down to the valley if we are going to fulfill our ultimate calling and reach out to a hurting and lost world.

we leave for africa in 40 days. i'm so excited i can hardly sit still and so terrified that i don't want june 17 to come. i'm going to africa. all the way across the ocean. out into the bush. in 40 days. 40 days is a significant Biblical number; i especially think of it in terms of one being prepared for something. the next 40 days are certainly going to be a crucial time of preparation. i believe that from the moment i step foot onto that first plane at the airport, my life is never going to be the same. i can feel it in my bones, God is going to do work on this trip that's going to blow me away. i've been on mission trips before and it never ceases to amaze me how God multiplies money, time, talents, and energy. it amazes me even more to think about the fact that i can change the lives of people i've never even met. like my friend jelicia from chicago. she told me that i changed her life...and if i really did, maybe she told her mom...who maybe told her sister...who maybe told her best friend...who maybe told her dad...you get the point. your work as a Christian is never in vain. whether you see results or not, whether you can watch the exponential growth or not, God sees it ALL! He's seen the big picture since the very beginning of time, and He can see to the end of time and beyond our understanding of time as well.

i only have one chance to live life, and live it well. every day i come to understand more and more how completely meaningless this world is and, on the flip side, how supremely powerful the God i am so privileged to serve is.

::john 3:27, 30-31a, 33-36a:: (the message)
"'it's not possible for a person to succeed--i'm talking about eternal success--without heaven's help...this is the assigned moment for Him to move into the center, while i slip off to the sidelines.
'the One who comes from above is head and shoulders over other messengers from God...anyone who examines this evidence will come to stake his life on this: that God himself is the truth.
'the One that God sent speaks God's words. and don't think he rations out the Spirit in bits and pieces. the Father loves the Son extravagantly. He turned everything over to him so he could give it away--a lavish distribution of gifts. that is why whoever accepts and trusts the Son gets in on everything, life complete and forever!'"

i'm home.  now after finals are over next week maybe i really will write something.